We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize