her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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