I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
