could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Be still, my beating vagina.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
