So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
