So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
