you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
