just tell him i said nine months
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
