It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you win again, gameday.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
