If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
