Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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