Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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