just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
