dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
