just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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