just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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