I just saw a hot homeless man
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
