You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
