why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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