Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize