ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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