I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
