I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
