I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
