she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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