If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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