Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize