Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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