It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
