Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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