Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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