so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize