I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
