Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
