I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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