guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
