East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The best revenge is premature balding
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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