i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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