Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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