I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
