I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
