She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
