whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
