The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize