Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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