how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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