pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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