I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This house was built for laser tag.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
