i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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