Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
