I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
