Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
