I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
