Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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