He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize