Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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