Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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