I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
