He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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