dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
