I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize