I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize