i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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