just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
