Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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