so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
