Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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