So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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