you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
