The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're a waste of cheezeits
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
