I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
