Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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