Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
