this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
