you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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