Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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