My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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